Mistletoe - the semen of the gods

Ever wondered why we kiss under a mistletoe? Let some druids light your way...

"Druid Stefan Allen, from the Mistletoe Foundation, revealed just what makes mistletoe so appropriate to smooch beneath."

First of all, druids are cool! Wouldn't it be cool to have "Druid" in front of your name? I wonder if I could put that as my title when they ask for one? It sure beats Mr. and in my book also PhD, Reverend, Rabi, Leutenant, etc. Though it might not beat "Admiral" or "Field Marshal", but considering those are military terms that may not be appropriate (or legal) to use "Druid" would work wonderfully. And plus they say cool things like: "mistletoe blooms in the dark womb of wintertime." C'mon! Don't you want to be a Druid?


"The druids believe mistletoe is special because it never touches the ground, and possesses symbolic fertility qualities."

Or, to put it more overtly:

"Traditionally mistletoe was considered to be the semen of the gods and of the forest, because the berries contain a liquid that looks like and has the texture of semen."


Mmmmm... think about that the next time you kiss under a mistletoe. It's actually kinda kinky. "C'mon honey... let's kiss under the semen plant!"

***

Needless to say I got curious and did a bit of searching around. It turns out the mistletoe is a "plant parasite". Also, BBC Gardening has a wonderful list of myths and facts about mistletoe (though unfortunately they do not give us the secret decoder wheel to figure out which is which). Speaking of semen:

"A man may kiss a woman standing under a sprig of mistletoe, only if he plucks a berry from the plant and gives it to her with each kiss. When all the berries have gone the kissing has to stop."

I'd love to hear a druid's interpretation of this. I can already see an interviewer asking: "So... would you say the man is feeding semen to the girl? Or, would it be more appropriate to say they are snowballing considering they're kissing with semen. Snowballing?? Well, you see that is when..."