Stupid studies

You know, "science" studies these days have run amok. We have all sorts of retarded studies that produce dubious results that end up being quoted and spread as the ultimate truth.

In this latest one they found that women who drink eight or more cups of coffee a day are twice as likely to lose their child during pregnancy as women who do not. But wait, that's before they adjust for other factors at which point it falls down to 59%. Why are you reporting the first fucking number then!? Going further if you drank four to seven cups you are at 33% risk. Conclusion? They do not advise drinking more than 3 cups of coffee a day when pregnant.

First of all, who thinks it's a good idea to drink more than 3 cups of coffee a day when pregnant? We need to send them to CommonSense school as obviously they're missing some. Secondly, all this health crap about not drinking, not smoking, eating properly, exercising, reducing stress is quite annoying. Do these people live on planet Earth?! Do they work for a living? If they did you would know that some of these things are hard to avoid. What happened to balance and moderation? If you have an expectant mother who is hella stressed maybe a glass of wine would help. And could it be that the stress is at least partially caused by all this fear-mongering?

I think we should just put expectant mothers in a stasis and provide them with proper nutrition intravenously. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no coffee, no drugs, no stress, proper nutrition and we'll run some current through their bodies to ensure proper exercise. There ya go! Never seen a healthier child. In fact, while we're at it why not just do away with the mother alltogether. Let's grow 'em in a petri dish so we can control everything to a T. Fuck these useless parents. We'll setup "growing" communes to ensure that children are properly concieved, raised and taken care of. Yeah! There's a Brave New World for ya!!